How to give a cat a pill.......
If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know how difficult it really is. The following instructions are fool proof!!
1. Pick up the cat & cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cats mouth & gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth & swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor & cat from under chair. Cradle cat in left arm & repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom & throw soggy pill away.
4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open & push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl & cat from top of waredrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding front & rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler & rub cars throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler & repair curtains. carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth & set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel & get spouse to lie cat with its head just visible from beneath spouses armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cats mouth open with pencil & blow down straw.
9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouses forearm & remove blood from carpet with cold water & soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbors shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage & put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek & check records for last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away & fetch a new one from bedroom.
12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine & bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force cats mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically & poor 1/2 piny of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger & forearm & removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home order a new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.
1. Pick up the cat & cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cats mouth & gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth & swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor & cat from under chair. Cradle cat in left arm & repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom & throw soggy pill away.
4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open & push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl & cat from top of waredrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding front & rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler & rub cars throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler & repair curtains. carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth & set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel & get spouse to lie cat with its head just visible from beneath spouses armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cats mouth open with pencil & blow down straw.
9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouses forearm & remove blood from carpet with cold water & soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbors shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage & put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek & check records for last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away & fetch a new one from bedroom.
12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine & bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force cats mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically & poor 1/2 piny of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger & forearm & removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home order a new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.
posted by Mystical Me at 11:52 AM
8 Comments:
non cat owners have no idea how realistic that post is....
;>)
Ha, ha, ha, yup, that’s pretty much how it goes. Ever try to give one an enema? That’s always good for a fun time.
MM-This post could not have come at a better time! I took Duke to the vet on Monday and they gave me some medicine to give him. One problem-he spit it right up. It was an adventure just trying to give it to him.
I've given pills to lots of dogs through the years, but have my first cat at this point...somehow I'm hoping this day doesn't come!
alan
Too true, too true...
I once had a cat who had to have his fur trimmed every now and then. I dropped him off at PetSmart, and when I came back the person who tried to bathe and trim him greeted me with a bandaged hand as she was leaving for the urgent care center. They had to turn off the dryer for all the cats because he was suffering from hypertension!
After that, no more cats.
hahaha...I think I would just call the vet in the first place! lol
Green,
LOL!! I so agree!! XOXO
BBC,
No, I cant say Ive ever tried that one, lol. Your funny!! XOXO
Marie,
Good luck on the pill giving to your cat. I always get clawed up & scratched, so I feel your pain right now. ;) XOXO
Alan,
Your so cute!! I hope you never have to go there, but I do know one time or another youll have to do it. XOXO
Storm,
WOW, Ive been there done that, & yeah I dont have that one anymore either, lol. XOXO
SPG,
Cats are just crazy!! They panic over the stupidest stuff. I didnt plan on having anymore cats, but I think I m stuck with Ciggy, lol. XOXO
Jlee,
Me too!! But it cost so much!! Although repairing everything costs too. So maybe thats not such a bad idea after all, lol. Take care!! Love, MM XOXO
I'm still hurting from laughing...only because I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN...I gave up on the Thyroid pills they said my cat couldn't live without...and guess what at age 17...2 years later she is fine...
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