Thursday, October 05, 2006

Memories...........

Do any of you ever have a time where you just sit & think about all the things in your life whether it be past, present, or future? Do you ever question if youve done all the right things in your past? Do you ever regret things youve done or wondered what your life would be like now if you would have done things just a little differently? Or just think about the choices you make now & how they will effect your future?
I found myself doing just that the other day. So I thought I would share some of my thoughts & memories with all of you.

Here's a picture of my Ex-Husband!! This was around the time we separated.

This picture isnt very good of us because I took a picture of a picture with my cell phone. I hope that came out right!! :) This is when we were actually happy together.


This picture was taken at the park, when we took the kids for some R&R time to talk about some past things, & our future. Its not really agreat picture of me, but its still at a time I was remembering. Bare with me, here!!

I really dont know where I m going with all this. Sometimes I fear telling to much about myself on here, since that one woman I wont mention any names. But it has made it hard for me to talk about myself & my feelings on here anymore. So if you wonder why I dont share very much anymore, thats why.

But lately I ve been thinking a lot about all the choices Ive made in my love life, & if I ve done all the right things. Rather should I really have left my husband? He was always good to me, & was always a hard worker in our relationship. But, I couldnt deal with the lies, & when he cheated on me it was really hard to get past that. But then I question myself if I was the cause for what he had done. I use to take him to strip clubs, & I was always introducing him to new things. Now when I think back I wonder if I should have done all those things. I sometimes think did I tease him with all the candy I was showing him. Was it my fault?

Regardless, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts & memories. I just needed to get it off my mind one way or another. SO thanks for listening!!

Take care everyone!! Love, MM XOXO

21 Comments:

Blogger Tim said...

mm: we all wonder the same things - what if we did this or that differently, how would it all come out? Would it have been different or not? You can drive yorself crazy thinking about all of these things.

I know it's hard sometimes but what is in the past is just that in the past. You're a beautiful woman with a lot going for you. And you have plenty of friends both live and in blogger that care about you.

I for one have always an open ear and email address if you ever need someone to talk to privately.

That's what friends do, you know.

g

10/09/2006 8:40 PM  
Blogger Mystical Me said...

Green,
Your absolutly right!! Thanks for being here if I need an ear, but Ill be ok. I was only sharing some thoughts of mine that Ive been dwelling on for awhile. But just like you said its in the past, & thats just it, the past. Take care & thanks for being a friend. XOXO

Icecoldcoke,
Thanks sweetheart, I will be sure to drink to you. ;) Your right, I do believe everything happens for a reason. But sometimes I cant help but wonder what if I did somethings differently. Take care sweetie & thanks. XOXO

Storm,
You sound like a very strong & beautiful woman. I dont see myself being like that yet. I am so sorry about your Ex. I bet that had to be hard for you. Do you have any kids together? That would be horrible for your kids, if any. Thank you for your words of comfort & I think you are very right. But sometimes you cant always help but think about the past & the choices youve made along the way. I seem to always second guess myself, thats a flaw of mine. Thanks so much sweetheart. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

DP,
LOL!! You know I didnt go for looks, I went for what I thought was in his heart. But sometimes I wonder if I didnt ruin his heart. As far as moving to Canada, its been a thought in the back of mind for awhile now. Seems everyone is beautiful, smart, & has a great heart in Canada. ;) XOXO

Eric B.,
Your right about that!! When I m not second guessing myself, I know Ive made all the right decissions. But then sometimes like now, I think about all the things I could have done differently. What life might be like for me if I would have changed some things. I know I should stop blaming myself for him cheating, but again I cant help but think I might had something to do with it. Thanks so much sweetheart & do take care. XOXO

Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

10/10/2006 9:01 AM  
Blogger Mystical Me said...

Outlaw,
There you are!! Ive missed you!! I hope all is well with you. Thanks so much for stoppin by & thank you for the complement on the photos. Take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

10/10/2006 9:05 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

Hey RR (or should I say MM), we all have the "memories" and the "what if's"
Like green said, you are a beautiful women, and you have alot going for you, there is someone out there for you, if you haven't found him yet.
BTW, I must say that last picture of you is hot!!! just to let you know :)
Take care my friend!!

10/10/2006 3:58 PM  
Blogger Handsome B. Wonderful said...

What and idiot to have cheated on YOU!!!

I'm with the others. In the end he made the decision and he is the one who has to live with that--not you.

Big hugs to you sweet heart.

10/10/2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger Zen Wizard said...

It would be really hard for a dude who is married to a stripper, so I have to say I empathize with him a little bit.

One way to think of it is you had some good years with him, and I assume your daughter was also with him so without him you wouldn't have had your daughter.

Nothing lasts forever. If two people can have just a few good years together in this world, that is pretty impressive.

10/10/2006 4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're lonely, MM. It's normal to question whether you should leave someone. You forget the bad things and remember the good things.

NO, you didn't make him lie and cheat. He did that all by himself. If he's a decent guy, he'll enjoy seeing your life without needing to lie and betray you. If he isn't, well... then he'll lie and cheat, whether you bring it to him or not.

Just know if you want to talk about things, I'll listen.

10/10/2006 5:00 PM  
Blogger mushroom said...

Aww you little cutie, i get all sentimental like that from time to time as well....i try and tell myself only to look into the future now.

10/10/2006 8:03 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

I think about this kind of stuff all the time. I understand about not wanting to get to personal because of you know who. BTW you look great in the pictures.

xoxo

10/10/2006 10:10 PM  
Blogger alan said...

Sorry I'm almost a week behind getting here, it's been a wild one!

Some of us spend our lives trying to figure out why everything is our fault...we look for reasons to blame ourselves, when if we look at things logically it's not our fault. A battle I've fought for years, and though I'm doing better, I have to remind myself constantly that most of what's wrong in this world is not my fault.

We have today; yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here, and what we have is this next second, this next minute, this next hour...when they are gone, we can't change them; we have to move on!

You are much to sweet, kind, smart and wonderful to be to blame for the things you are mulling over. Life is like the pendulum on an old clock, and somewhere along the way, for every awful thing that happens something equally wonderful will happen as well. Waiting is the hard part...

alan

10/11/2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger JLee said...

sorry I missed this post earlier... damn refresh button!
Anyway, it's easy to look back and question our decisions, but we can just learn from them, right or wrong. You did not cause your husband to cheat and lie, and you deserve more than that, even though it seems he was "good to you". That is relative. Someone can be nice and still mistreat you by their actions toward you. You have a wonderful heart and deserve all the best! xoxo

10/11/2006 4:43 PM  
Blogger BBC said...

I've done some things wrong Hon, we all have. Life is about lessons. But I'm not sorry I did them. I have great stories to tell. :-) And great memories.

Hey babe, you're hot. You'll find a new partner, if that is what you want. Hugs.

10/11/2006 6:08 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann said...

Sometimes it is good to just sit and think...and remember!
Take care sweetie!
~xo

10/11/2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger スロ / Bernat said...

In yesterday's post I worte about the same... but past it past, leave it there and move on.
About being your fault, I don't know you ex-husband or you enough, but it wasn't your fault.
A loyal husband won't consider that as candy, the only candy would be you.

10/12/2006 3:38 AM  
Blogger Mystical Me said...

Scott,
I have been seeing someone lately. But I havent talked about it, only because I m not sure what I want yet. He owns a Restaurant, but what matters most is how he treats me. So maybe oneday Ill post about it. Thank you for being such a sweetheart. XOXO

James,
Thank you!! Although, I know he had a choice whether or not to cheat, I still cant help but feel I had something to do with it. Take care sweetheart & thanks again. XOXO

Zen Wizard,
Your very right!! Although, I dont have a daughter, I have a son. ;)
We did have a lot of good years together, thats why its so hard to deal with all the bad. Thanks so much sweetie!! XOXO

SPG
No, I m not lonely, I m just going thro the what ifs & questioning my choices in life. I sometimes do that without any good reason. But your right he shouldnt have done all those things, no matter what.
I will email you soon sweetie. ;)
XOXO

Mushroom,
Your such a sweetheart!! Ive been really focusing on the future & really trying not to make all the same mistakes Ive made in the past. XOXO

Marie,
It really sucks we have to watch our P's & Q's on here because of one woman using things against us. Take care sweetie & thank you. XOXO

Alan,
Thats exactly what Ive been trying to work on with myself for years. Your so right, good usually always comes out of the bad. I m the type of person who has to really fight to look for the good in the bad. But even though its sometimes hard to find, its always there. Thanks so much sweetheart & I hope all is well with you. XOXO

Jlee,
You have such a wonderful heart, thats why I love you. Your so right, It is relative. Thank you for saying that & I think you deserve the best. XOXO

BBC,
It takes a real man to admit his faults. Your a real man in my eyes sweetie. Thank you so much for your comment & caring enough to say something. Your a sweetheart, thank you. XOXO

Lee ann,
There you are sweetie, Ive missed you. I hope all is well with you!! I have been doing a lot of thinking about my past, future, & present these days. I just wish I felt safe enough to post everything on my mind, but someone has ruined that. Take care sweetheart, its good to see you again. XOXO

Bernat,
Are you single? You really got my attention with that last sentence. ;) Take care sweetie!! XOXOXO

Love always, MM XOXO

10/12/2006 10:36 AM  
Blogger BBC said...

I shouldn't visit this blog, I just sit here licking the screen.

I mean, it's clean now, but my tounge feels all charged. LOL

10/13/2006 6:45 PM  
Blogger BBC said...

Umm, isn't it time for a new post Hon? You have to keep folks interested and coming back you know. :-)

10/15/2006 8:24 PM  
Blogger スロ / Bernat said...

Hahahahaha I'm single.
That sentence was good?.... I'll write down for future times hahahahahaha

10/16/2006 2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't do that.

10/16/2006 9:54 PM  
Blogger Mystical Me said...

Rachel R.,
Thanks so much sweetheart, your a kind soul. Although, I tend to think I m a Bitch, everyone says different. I hope thats a good thing. ;) Take care sweetie!! XOXO

BBC,
LMAO!! Your cute!!
Your right I need to stop ignoring my blog all the time. :) I ll post something today, I need to Bitch about things right now. I hope all is well with you sweetheart. XOXO

Bernat,
;) XOXO

Squid V.,
Sure you dont!! ;) Although, you do have a wonderful, loving, caring, & sweet wife. So I totally see why you wouldnt. Take care!! XOXO

Love always, MM XOXO

10/17/2006 11:47 AM  
Blogger Polyman3 said...

Hey, in order to live and grow,
we must make decisions that will affect the rest of our lives.
You must have the courage to live with them once they are made.
And usually there's no going back.

It's good to remember, but you must remember the bad along with the good, then realize why you made your decision.

You are very beautiful and smart,
I'm sure things will turn out for the best.
XOXO

10/24/2006 2:31 PM  

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