Mystical Me

I m finally back, hopefully I no longer have that stocker!!

2008-06-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry, its been fprever, but I needed a break to make this one person believe I was gone forever. Hahahaha, I m back. Its good to be back!! What have I missed out on? Peace & love to all, whom Ive missed!! Like all the people I the side. Keep me informed whats happened since Ive been gone? Feel free to tell me everything. Take care!! MM XOXO

Meerkat Manor, the mourning of flower

2007-10-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know some of you might think this is the gayest thing I ve posted about yet. But, to be honest if I really cared what everyone thought, I wouldnt have posted about a lot of what Ive posted about. I am one of those people who happens to love animals, & love watching them in their natural habitat. So like some people I tend to watch things on Animal Planet, like for example Meerkat Manor. Which happens to be my Favorite show, that was until Sept 28th.

I ll explain why I no longer want to watch this show.

Ive watched this show for 3 years now, & Ive managed to become very attached to these little Meerkats, specially the dominant female FLOWER. In the 3 years Ive watched this program, Ive seen life, & death of these little guys. But, this last episode I watched on Sept. 28th, Friday ripped my heart out. I cried myself to sleep that Friday night, then also cried the rest of the weekend. I vowed not to watch it ever again. It was the saddest thing I had ever watched on TV!! I never thought I allowed myself to become that attached to an animal that was half way around the world, stood only inches tall & weighed about 1lb, if that. But after watching I realized just how attached I had become, & being that I am that passionate about them, I couldnt allow myself to have my heartache like that again. Here's what happened in that episode!!

The Whiskers clan is without a matriarch.
Flower, the leader of the central gang of meerkats that is the focus of Animal Planet's documentary cum soap opera Meerkat Manor, died in February during filming of the show's third season after being bitten by a cobra. She was six.
Friday's episode of the hit series, "A Journey's End," featured the events leading up to Flower's untimely death, which occurred during yet another meerkat struggle for survival in South Africa's Kalahari Desert—an inevitable part of the frequently compelling, albeit furry and adorable, drama that has made Meerkat Manor Animal Planet's number-one show.
"Flower's courage and strength in life was mirrored in her passing," said senior executive producer Mick Kaczorowski. "Viewer and fans have become attached to Flower because she exemplified the qualities of a true hero and a veritable leader."
According to Kaczorowski, Flower was buried onsite in a market grave by the Cambridge University scientists who preside over the Kalahari Meerkat Project.
Although Animal Planet didn't televise news of Flower's passing, in order to stave off the viewer confusion that resulted when Flower's son Shakespeare was injured at the end of season one and then was gone by season two, a statement was posted in March on the network's Meerkat Manor message board informing fans that Flower hadn't survived a snakebite and would be missed.
"When Shakespeare disappeared over the season, we weren't filming—there was no evidence, no body," Kaczorowski told the Los Angeles Times. "When we came back in Season 2, everybody was completely frustrated. Conspiracy theories came up. The most important thing is to track down the remains or stay with the body so we could put an end to the story."
Animal Planet is planning a commemorative spot, an online tribute and a press event in New York to honor the Meerkat Manor heroine. There is also a feature film in the works, Queen of the Kalahari, which is intended to be a prequel about Flower's life prior to her small-screen stardom.
"Flower was larger than life," said Marjorie Kaplan, general manager of Animal Planet and Discovery Kids Media. "She stood tall against her foes, readily and regularly faced conflict and was a pillar of strength for her family.
"The circle of life is very much a reality in the animal kingdom. We at Animal Planet are devastated by the loss of Flower and recognize that her death will have a deep impact on our viewers. Life in the Kalahari will never be the same."
Up in the air now is the fate of Zaphod, Flower's partner and the dominant male of the Whiskers mob. If losing his mate proves too much to handle, his brother Youssarian—a former top meerkat who has been pegged as having "social problems"—could rise again.
Flower and Zaphod's son, Mitch, also has exhibited leadership qualities in the wake of his brother Shakespeare's death, and he could be a force to be reckoned with, as well.
It's also unsure who will become the new female leader of the extensive clan. Flower's daughter Mozart is a possibility, but despite being caring and compassionate, she has estranged herself from the family more than once.
No, the above was not a summary of a Dallas episode. Although just as it was for the Ewings when J.R. was shot, the Whiskers' societal order now hangs in the balance.
The daily goings-on at the so-called manor may read like a page from any prime-time soap, replete with jealous exes, sibling rivalry, (meer)kat fights, pregnant daughters getting kicked out of the house and a lot of mating, but the stars of this show don't follow any script.
Instead, it's a group of intrepid researchers, their specially built fiber-optic cameras and some crafty editors that have captured a slice of life that just happens to be taking place, at times, in a burrow.
And while regular watchers of the series might sometimes trick themselves into thinking that they're watching teeny-tiny humans who just happen to have tails, crescent-shaped ears, tapered faces and particularly beady eyes, these mammals are members of the mongoose family.

If you want to watch the episode go to Animalplanet.com & then go to Meerkat Manor & watch the video. Youll see why it was so heart breaking!! Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Update!!!

2007-08-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

I didnt realize it had been so long since I last posted. I havent had time to post or check out anyone's blogs, sorry about that.
I never did find another place to move. But, I did manage to get company while I was away. The end of June my cousin Shannon called me. Since, that day, her, her boyfriend, & son have been living with me. Talk about out welcoming your stay!! They were kicked out of the place they were staying, "I couldnt imagine why"!!!! She quit her job the day she moved in with me, & so did her boyfriend. For the past few months Ive been the one elected to support them. I told them both on the 1st of this month that they need to find a job & a place to move by the 31st of this month (AUGUST), Or they will be homeless!! I have gone broke supporting them, & mind you my cousin has gained 5lbs living with me. I ve lost 10lbs, that should tell you something!!
Ok, I didnt mean to start bitching on my first post back. To make a long story short, I dont have anything nice to say right now, so I ll keep it short & to the point. I m miserable!!

I hope all is well with everyone, & sorry I ve been away for so long, not that I m that important or anything. Take care & I ll post again soon!! Wish me luck in keeping my sanity, until the 31st!! Love always, MM XOXO

Be back soon!!

2007-06-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I havent posted in awhile. I havent been feeling well, & the days I have been feeling well Ive been looking for a place to move. I ll do a new post soon, but for now I need to find a place to move. Wish me luck!! Take care MM, XOXO

OK, here's me mad, in black & white!!

2007-06-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, its a small picture & yes it was taken in Black & White!! It was taken by Patrick, with his cell phone. My hair is a mess, I m a mess!! But I wanted to get a picture posted before my hair was to get any longer. That way you could see just how short it really is. I hate this picture, but it'll have to do for now.

Ok now, for the reason I was so mad in this picture. Its because when I asked him to take my picture he took this one first.

Don't ask me why this picture is bigger, because I have no idea why. It was taken with the same cell phone. Another reason I was so mad, is because he wouldn't stop messing around, & I couldn't get him to take a decent picture of me. It was my boobs in color & the rest of me in black & white. WTF!! If I can get someone else to take one for me, I ll be sure & post it as soon as I get it done.

BTW, BBC the second picture is for you sweetheart, enjoy!! ;)

Love, MM XOXO

Picture of my new DOO!! At least the side view!!

2007-05-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

Here's the side view!! I'm still trying to get someone to take a front view picture for me, its pretty hard when your taking the picture's yourself. All the one's I did take look like crap & all you can see is the flash. Ill post another photo as soon as I can get someone to take it for me.

Take care, MM XOXO

I n loving Memory of Ken

2007-05-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ken Bennet, passed away this morning around 1:15 am. Thankfully, he wasn't alone!! His son Justin, his wife Janie, & his sister Gale were all in the room with him when he took his last breath.
Day before yesterday I sat in the room with him for awhile just talking to him. He wasn't coherent, but I do believe he heard me. He really suffered there at the end, but he just kept holding on. He was always a fighter!! I dont believe he was really ready to totally let go, because he was always so worried about his son's. He told his son Justin he feared not being able to go to heaven, because he felt as though he failed as a father. Two of his son's turned to drugs after their real mother passed away years ago. We were all just kids then, I think I was maybe 8 or 10 years old when I first met Justin. Their mother had passed a year or two before I actually met them. But they never really got away from the drug scene, even to this day. One of his son's is in prison for just that DRUGS. So he wasn't able to be there for his dad during his last few days. I told Justin he still has a chance to make his father proud of him & I do believe he will do just that. Sometimes when something like this happens people that use drugs, turn to drugs to numb their pain. But I m hoping & praying that he wont. I will do my best to keep him away from any & all drugs. I would hate to see him go down that path.

Ken, you will be remembered & I will do my best to help Justin, Janie, & Gale through all this.
You will be greatly missed! The neighborhood just wont be the same without you.

Love always & forever, MM XOXOXOXOXOX

I cut off my hair!!

2007-05-25T11:04:00.001-07:00

Last week I chopped off all my hair, about six inches to be exact. I wanted to wait to post about this until I had a picture of something to show you what it looks like. But, Oh well, I wanted to post about it now. I also, lightened it a lot more then what it was. It looks really cute, but I m still getting used to it being so short. I ve never had it this short in my life, well that is until now. LOL!! I promise I ll be posting a picture of it as soon as I get a picture taken. I ll try to do it this weekend sometime.
Dont panic to much, because it was pretty long when I decided to cut it. Besides its only hair, & it does grow back!! It was funny, the day I got it done my youngest son walked up to me & said "wheres my mom"? Then he wouldn't stop staring at me & acted like he was going to pass out. Hes pretty cute & very dramatic!! I wonder where he gets that!! LOL!!

On the darker side of things one of my friends ( Justin) that I grew up with, his father is dying. This morning around 10:30 am his breathing has become labored & is taking his last breath's. He is a good man & one I came to know & love very much through out the years. He will be missed tremendously!!

Ken, may the Angels guide you & may they be as kind & loving to you as you have always been to everyone's heart you touched. I love you Ken & thank you for always being a father figure to me when I needed one the most.

Love always, MM

Medical Test.........

2007-05-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

OK, NOW stare into the cats eye for 10 sec!!

Now Stare at the Puppies!!

Now Score Down!!

THANK YOU..........

Your Cat Scan & Lab tests are now complete!! ;)

That will be $1500, please!!

I thought this might put a smile on your face today!! I hope you all have a great day!!
Love always, MM XOXO

To all the mothers out there!!

2007-05-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

My boobs!!

2007-05-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

This last Friday May 11th, 2007 I went to see my plastic surgeon to see about getting them redone. "OKAY..... Don't act like you didn't already know I had fake boobs"!! Anyways, on with my story!! I wanted to get them redone for a few reason's which I ll explain more later in this post. I was also thinking about going just alittle bit bigger & changing to Silicone instead of saline. Besides its almost time to get them replaced anyways.
They usually only have a life span of about 10 years. Although, sometimes they have been known to last forever. But your playing a gamble!! After the first 10 years they are no longer covered by the Implant company's insurance. Ok I ll explain!! When you first get the implants the company who sales them gives you a 10 year insurance on them in case they break, leak, or just screw up somehow. But after those 10 years they are no longer covered, so if something happens after those 10 years, you have to pay the entire amount to get them fixed. One of the main reasons they aren't covered after 10 years is because they aren't meant to last after those 10 years. The chances of them breaking become about 80% & increases each year there after. OK........I m really starting to sound repetitive, sorry!!
Anyways, I have had mine for about 6 & 1/2 years. I ve wanted to get them redone because to me, they look off. I call them my sisters, but not my twins!! If you get what I m saying?!! So, I made an appointment with my Surgeon to see what he thinks I can do as far as redoing them & making them look better. Well, he thought I was crazy & told me he didn't want to mess them up by doing another surgery. He said they look great & that I was trippin!! He believes they look better then the last time he saw me, which was in 2002. He also said they felt more real then before. Before I left, he asked if he could take some photos. UGH!! Which of course I agreed!! I left there pissed & really upset!! I guess I might be to critical about myself, who knows. So long story short I m stuck with this pair for another 3 & 1/2 years. I still think they could look alot better, but that's just my opinion. Plus, I really don't like the fact that I have saline. It can become dangerous if they break. Not many woman realize, but mold can grow in the saline water after a few years while sitting in 97 degrees 24/7. If there is mold & it does break you can get Toxic Shock, Which can be deadly. I know, I know Silicone can be bad, but in my opinion its safer. Ive done some research!! If the saline breaks its 100% chance it goes all thro your body & with Silicone, chances are it wont go anywhere.
I m trying to get over the fact that I am stuck with them & I m really trying to like them more then I do. But, When I finally do get them redone Ill post before & after pictures so you can all see the difference. I m still working on getting them redone, so Ill keep you all posted!!

Take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

WOW, How time flies!!

2007-05-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

When I was 13 years old I fell in love with an older man Named Brian H. He was in the Air Force at the time I met him. When I met him, He was 8 years older then I was. I was 13 he was 21!! " Just doing the math for you"!! ;)
Anyways, long story almost short, my mother at the time was newly single & had moved in a woman roommate to help support the house we all lived in. The woman named Karen that moved in, eventually became engaged to a man who was active in the Air Force. So then after a while we started having parties, what my brother & I would call "The Air Force Parties". There would be hundreds or well close to a hundred hot men there at one time. ;) Ok.... I might be exaggerating just alittle!! My mother never really cared what my brother & I did at these parties. So as you can imagine my brother & I would always have friends come over & we would almost always be drunk or stoned which ever was there first. Anyways, on with story!! One night at one of these parties I met Brian & instantly became attracted to him. But the sad story was he was to old & I was too young. Not to mention he was scheduled to be stationed elsewhere within the week. As you could imagine being 13 years old I was completely heart broken. We did manage to stay in touch through mail & phone calls. But after a few years we lost contact. When I was 24 years old I managed to find him still active in the Air Force, stationed in Turkey. We then lost contact a few months later. That was about 10 years ago today!!
Just yesterday I found him, out of pure luck!! I had heard he died in the War this last year. So I was eager to find him, to see if he was ok. He is in fact alive & well, BTW!! He was pretty amazed that I found him. But, I never did tell him how I really found him. I was surfing the www, day before yesterday & somehow I got on to this website with video weddings. I came across his name & it showed his wedding from last year. Then for some weird reason it also showed his mailing address & phone number. ODD huh? I thought soo!! Anyways, I called him yesterday & he told me he has been trying to find me for years now & just recently gave up right before he got married. Crazy how things work in life!!
Now, although we are old enough to date each other, he is now a happily married man. My feelings for him have never changed, even today he still has a place in my heart. But some things in life just aren't meant to be. I don't plan on ever losing contact with him again. Well that is, unless his wife has some thing to say about it. But for now, we will remain friends forever!!

I just wanted to share this story with all of you!! Take care!! Love, MM XOXO

Rainbows, Puppy Dogs, & Pussy Cats!!

2007-05-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know your all sick of Rainbows, Puppy Dogs, & Pussy Cats!! So..... here S' more for ya to look at!! ;)

This is the other picture I took with my cell phone!! Pretty cool, HUH!!

I couldnt help but post this picture of the two little love birds!! Pretty CUTE!!

This is what happens when your Cat eats tooth floss!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

Happy 10th Birthday Jacob!!!!! :)

2007-05-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

He's the big 1o!! Happy Birthday Jake!!

My week has totally sucked ass by the way!! Thanks for asking!!
Lilo is in the hospital getting her stomach cut open. Stupid me, I threw away my tooth floss in the garbage. When I left the house she ate it!! She has been really sick since last Wednesday. I first took her in last Friday & they took X-rays & all that stuff. Then they call me to tell me its a piece of string & she needs surgery because her intestines are all messed up now. I brought her home Saturday to take care of her while the Vet got a second opinion. I had to give her IV fluids & meds to keep her from throwing up everything she ate. Poor girl has lost so much weight because of all this. All because she couldn't help but be a dumpster diver. I knew she liked tooth floss, but damit I had no idea she would go in the garbage behind my back to munch out on it. She is quit the talented pussy cat.
WELL, I hope all you have learned something out of all this, "not to throw away things in the garbage" because your cat might just cost you almost $2000. 00 to get them fixed. I hope my pain will save all of you in the future. DAMIT!!

If I look tired, its because I am!! I m rather exhausted from taking care of Lilo all weekend. Besides that look at the blue eyes on this guy, WTF? When I m sleeping does he turn into a monster or something? This picture is just a wee bit scary to me!! Well wouldn't you be, if your dog transformed when he or she was on you while you were sleeping? HELLO, Scary!!

Take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

The Rainbow!!

2007-04-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

I took these pictures with my cell phone a few days ago. Whatcha think? Pretty cool, HUH?

Take care!!

Check out this STUD!!

2007-04-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

OKay.... Seriously I wont post anymore Puppy photos after this, or maybe just not as much as I have been. I couldnt help but to post these pictures of the little guy. He is pretty cute, so I couldnt resist it.

I ve got somethings I want to post about, but Ill do that tomorrow or sometime in the next few days. Alot has been going on!! Ill explain later. Take care everyone!!

Love always, MM XOXO

Chelsea's New Dress....

2007-04-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I m totally GAYyyyy!!

But, I saw it on E-bay for $15.00 & I just couldn't resist getting it for her. So now if we're ever asked to attend a wedding or something formal, we're ready for her to go with me, lol. After I put it on her, she was pretty pissed off at me. Which you can probably tell just by the way she looks in the picture. I really have my doubts she will ever wear it. LOL!! Yes, I have too much time on my hands!! ;)

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

Name Change!!

2007-04-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

Dakoda is now his new name!! At least for this week or who knows I might just keep it. Takoa just didn't sound right to me after awhile. Because Takoa sounded to much like Takaw, Takaw, Takaw every time I called him. It sounded as if I was calling for a bird or something.
He's finally almost completely potty trained, THANK GOD!! Ive been keeping him in a kennel every night, that seems to be working. His temperament has also changed for the better. Ive been working with him all week to change his temper. Every time he starts growling, I pick him up from the nap of his neck, & tell him NO. So far so GOOD!! He hasn't went Cujo for awhile now & Ive really tried to piss him off. Now I m rethinking about breeding him & Chelsea. Anyone, WANT A PUPPY? It wont happen for at least 8 months, so you have time to think about it. They wont get any bigger then 4 & 1/2lbs. Let me know!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

His Name is.........Drum roll Please!!

2007-04-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

Takoa!!

The meaning is "Friend to everyone"!! Its an Indian name!!
Whatcha think???

My new Baby is finally home!!

2007-04-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

Isnt he CUTE!! He's wearing a diaper because he's not potty trained yet. Right after I took this picture he went Cujo on the diaper. He showed all his teeth & freaked the F--k out. That kind of scares me, I dont want him to be a jerk when he gets older. So trust me when I say Ill be working with him to change his little bad attitude.

This is right before he went nuts on the diaper. He was spinning around like a crazy dog. LOL!!!

I still havent named him yet, but I was thinking Killer since he has such a bad attitude. What do you think?

Take care!! Love, MM XOXO

My new baby boy!!

2007-03-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

Didnt even know I was expecting, did ya!!! Well now ya do!!! I m expecting a baby boy next week sometime.

To be completely honest I didnt even know I was expecting until yesterday!! LOL!! ;)

Here's my new baby boy!! He's only six weeks old & he will be flying in from OK., sometime next week. I cant even begin to tell you just how excited I really am. I ve been wanting another little dog for Chelsea, to eventually breed with her, for over a year now. Ive been looking around for just the right guy for her, & now Ive finally found him. He is expected to only weigh 3 & 1/2 lbs. by the time he is full grown. Chelsea weighs 4 & 1/2 lbs now & shes already 2 years old. She wont get any bigger then what she already is now.

These are the first pictures Ive seen of him. He soooo fricken CUTE!!!!!!!!

Now the only thing is, is I need a name for him. Any suggestions?

Take care everyone & thanks for all the help on the Tattoo. I know you can all help me pick him a name too. Hint Hint!!
Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXO

Tattoo photo!!

2007-03-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

Before anyone comments on this, I want you to know I m not real happy with how high the Fairy is. But guess what, alittle too late for nit picking it now!! I honestly think it would have looked alot better alittle lower, but Oh Well. I still like it for the most part. The Fairy still needs to be finished with color. But, I wasnt going to make you all wait any longer to see a picture of it.

I got the Fairy last night 3/23/07 @7:pm & the Vine & Butterfly finished. The Vine & Butterfly was already done 3 & 1/2 weeks before, I just had him put white in it. You might not be able to see it very well, but the colors are Blue (on the inside), Pink (also on the inside) , Yellow (on the outside) , & White (on the tips of the upper wings). You also might not be able to see all the detail in the Fairies face, he did a good job on her, with how small she really is. I m not sure what colors I m going to do her wings, if anyone has an ideas please let me know?

A few weeks ago I got into an accident on the Freeway going to Stanford early morning. I was really pissed about it, but its nice to be getting some money. The Asshole who hit me was in the carpool lane @ 8:30 in the morning with just himself in the car. I m sure you all know the carpooling laws, so I was really mad about that as well. It was stop & go traffic as usual in the morning commute hours. But this lamass obviously didnt understand that & failed to stop. Well at least until he hit my bumper. FUCKER!! Anyways, long story short I went to an Insurance adjuster & got a good lump sum of money. When he handed me the check, I wasnt mad anymore, lol. Hell someone hit me again, I dont mind. LOL!! Anyways, heres a picture of the insurance adjuster checking out the damage on my car.

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXO

Somebody isnt having a good day!!

2007-03-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

I went up to lower colfax to see my Cousin, & I wasnt able to get thro. All because of this.......

Your not supposed to go over 45mph in the rain on such a small road, Dipshit!! I drove about a half hour, not be able to go the last 10mins. This guy had to stay in his car for about 4 hours, so they could shut off the electricity. Then it took them another 12 hours just to get all this off the road. UGH!! I did make it, I just had to take the longer way. I was pissed, but hey I m over it.

Not to much has been happening lately, Ive just been out of town alot. I get my tattoo finished sometime this week. I m not looking forward to the pain. But hey I got myself into this, NOW DIDNT I!! So expect a picture of it real soon!!

Also, I might be moving to Truckee sometime in the next few months. My brother Bubby works for an apartment complex, & hes offering me some work. So I m really thinking about taking him up on his offer. Id be making anywhere from $25 to $30 an hour, with my clothes on. So, I think it would be a nice career change. Not to mention, Its beautiful there when it snows. Its right by Tahoe, among other nice places. I ll make sure to let you all know what I plan on doing. I think Id be stupid, not to move there. I cant even begin to tell you how nice it really is there. The next time I go up I ll make sure & takes some photos for ya!! Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

Dillions Beach & My babys Birthday!!

2007-03-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

Heres, Jacob, Skylar, Coty & myself on Dillions Beach last Sunday, the 4th of March. This was the first time Ive ever been there, & I have to tell you its BEAUTIFUL. We did alot of walking, so not only did I get tired but so did the boys.

You might not be able to see him or her, but its a sealion trying to catch a few crabs.

The Birthday Girl, partying it up @ the park on her B-day!! Her Birthday was March 11th! She is now 2 years old, but in Dog years that would be 14. So I guess its safe to say shes a teenager now, lol.

I had to kiss the Birthday Girl!! XXXX

Sorry, I dont have more to talk about, Ive been really busy. Ill share more later. Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

New Tattoo!!

2007-02-27T10:23:00.000-08:00

Let me first say this, I F---en hate how this new set-up is on Blogger. I didnt want to update it, so they eventually made me do it. Which I m pissed about!!

ALSO, Sorry I havent been online much, Ive been doing alot these past few months trying to improve somethings in my life.

Friday @ 7:pm I went & got a tattoo on my left ankle. Heres some photos of the event. The pictures where taken with a cell phone thats why they are soooooo small.

Heres my ankle being tattoed on, I m sure you could already see that, lol.

Heres my pain face!!

If your wondering if it hurt, HELL........ YES IT DID. I was white nuckling it & squizzing the shit out of someones hand. LOL!!

I dont have a picture of the tattoo yet, but I will. I need to change a few things & then Ill post a picture of it.

Take care everyone & I hope everyone is doing awesome!! Take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

Painted Cats

2007-02-15T10:13:00.000-08:00

more.......

2007-02-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

OOHH Christmas Tree......

2006-12-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

I thought Id show everyone our Christmas Tree, with the cat guard, lol. Since Bugger AKA Ciggy destroys everything while we are sleeping. For the first two days we would all wake to find the Christmas Tree demolished, so the Cat guard needed to be put up. The kids put the tree together & I added the butterflies, (I love stuff like that, if you havent already noticed in past photos.) ;) & YES that is a new TV, NICE HUH!!

I hope everyone has an awesome Christmas this year. I would love too see everyones Christmas Tree if your up to posting pictures of it. PPPPretty PPPPlease? :)

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

My Brother & me.......

2006-12-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry, Ive been MIA for so long, Ive been recovering from a cold. But before I got a cold, I was so over joyed when I got to see my Brother for the first time in years. I think its been two years since the last time I saw him or heard from him. But it wasnt his fault, it was my own. I has said something I shouldnt have, & he was rightfully upset. But all in all this Thanksgiving was AWESOME. I didnt get a chance to see my Sister again before she left, or get a chance to get batteries in time, I was alittle bummed about that. But thankfully my Brother had a camera on him. I just need to ask him before I post any of them.

Here's a photo of me & my Brother when we were younger. I had to take a picture of a picture since I dont yet have a scanner. I m not sure what our ages are in this picture!! But Ive had this picture for years, thats why it looks like a mess. I m planning on getting it fixed as soon as possible. Yes, I do have batteries now, but No, I m not taking any photos until I no longer look like the walking dead. :)

Here's a photo Ashman (Scott) requested back when I had black hair. I was 21 years old in this picture, & once again this is a picture of a picture. Again, No scanner yet!! Yes, my hair was 80's freak fashion!! :( Please dont laugh!!

I do hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, & I do hope that everyone had as much happiness, as I did. Words cant describe how Awesome it really was!! Christmas, is on its way, I hope its a good one for everyone. DO take care!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXO

Dear Brother, I love you very much, & thank you. It was so good seeing you again & I wish you all the best forever & ever. You are so blessed with a wonderful loving, caring, & giving wife, take care of her my brother. I hope to see you all one day soon. I LOVE YOU BOTH!! Love always your sis, Renah XOXO

My Sister!!

2006-11-21T14:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I saw my older sister for the first time in years. I think the last time I saw her I was 17 or 18 years old. My Dad called me yesterday & asked me over for dinner, & told me my sister was in town. She lives in Arkansas & she will be here for a week, for Thanksgiving. When I saw her for the first time last night, I was so excited. When I got to the door she answered the door & we hugged for a good minute. She is so beautiful inside & out!! We had a wonderful dinner together, it was almost like we hadnt ever been out of touch. I was so mad though because I still dont have batteries for my camera. AS soon as I get my check Ill be getting them right away. I will be seeing her again before she leaves, & I plan on taking tons of photos. I cant wait for everyone to see just how beautiful she really is.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, everyone!!
Love always, MM XOXO

AWESOME!!!!!!

2006-11-15T08:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to court, I didnt have time before this to post about it. But it went very well, in my favor. I was taking Coty's father back to court to finally get him to start paying me child support. I had an existing order already in place since 1996, when I had filled for Divorce from him. He was ordered to pay $222 a month, support for Coty. He was also supposed to have him on the weekends. Well as soon as court was over he quit his job & started working under the table. So you can imagine just how much he owes me in back support. Not to mention he stopped trying to visit with Coty.

So as soon as I heard he was hired on to a job in November of last year, I filled to get it increased. AS soon as he heard he was being taken back to court, he decided it was time to quit & start working under the table again, in hopes of the court would drop his support. Well it didnt happen the way he wanted it too, ;).

The Judge saw that he was very delinquent on his support & raised it to $429 a month & ordered him to find work & come back in January. If he still hadnt found work by then, he was to show he had put in at least 10 applications every two weeks. LOL!! Its about time he became a man & helped me support our son. Also, he was showing to have a settlement in the works & it was all order to pay back all his past support. :)

He tried to say I was doing welfare fraud, lol, the lady laughed & said she is not on aid. He also try to say I was still living with my Ex. When in fact I am not!! The lady again lend over & said it doesnt matter, because if she was in fact married they still dont count her husbands earnings, only mine. Then he tried to say he has Coty 50% of the time, lol. Again, I showed proof that he hasnt even come to see him in months. So he was pissed by the time court was over, he didnt even say good bye to Coty or me, lol. I was nice enough to say he had him 18% of the time when infact he doesnt. So Oh well, justice was served yesterday. WOOOOWHOOOO!! Its about time!!
..............................................................................

Also, I m waiting on getting batteries for my camera, so I can take some pictures of my new DO.
I should have them up no later then next month. Thanks for being patient!!
...............................................................................

Take care everyone & I hope all is well!! Love always, MM XOXO

A new me!!

2006-11-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

On Thursday Nov. 9th, I dyed my hair a dark auburn. I cant wash my hair until tomorrow ( Sunday Nov.12th), so I wont be posting any pictures until I am able to wash & style my hair. ;)

So stay tuned to see the new me!! :)

So far, I hate how dark it is, but the lady said it will fad slightly after the first washing. Right now it looks a lot like Eva Longoria on Desperate housewives.

My natural color is black, although when I was little I was blonde, go figure!!

Yesterday, I also got my nails done a dark auburn as well, so its looks pretty cute. Youll all see it soon!! Until then............Take care everyone!!

Love always, MM XOXO ;)

I m back!!

2006-11-08T09:45:00.000-08:00

Well yesterday almost seemed like a waisted trip, nothing they couldnt have told me over the phone.
They said I wont have to be coming back, they will be writing to my family Doctor in Carmichael, letting him know how to treat me. They did everything they were supposed to do for me, & that was find out what I had. Ive been diagnosed & I m clear to go!! They did say if I wanted to come back I could. NO THANKS, the driving isnt something I want to do anymore.

But now I have to go back & forth to see this new Opt. - nero Doctor in December. I hate the drive, so I wish they could send me some where a lot closer. Dont get me wrong I m very grateful for them & everything they've helped find out, but its very expensive to keep going back & forth.

Plus it felt like I was driving all day yesterday. For the first time I managed to hit all the traffic coming back. It started in San Francisco all the way home. I left Stanford at 3:15 & didnt get home until 8:pm. So that should tell you how bad the traffic was coming back. Thankfully, I came back just in time not to have to pay the toll for the bridge, so that was nice. A few times I was a little worried, because my car started heating up when it was stop & go traffic. But thankfully I made it home without anything bad happening. I think its time I get a new car!! ;)

Other then that, all is well, Ive been busy trying to get ready for the holidays. Which I m sure most of you are doing as well. Thanksgiving & Christmas, are my favorite times of the year.

I wish everyone well & thank you all for your on going support through out all this. Thanks for always being there for me & wishing me well. Youve all been a great support for me, & I have no idea how I could ever repay any of you. I have a lot of thanks & love in my heart for each & everyone of you. THANK YOU!!

Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I m off to Stanford once again!!

2006-11-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

Sorry its been awhile, a lot has been going on lately. I havent had anytime to post or check anyones blog. Sorry!!

Today, I will be going to Stanford again, I m leaving at 11am. I ll make sure & post everything they say as soon as I get back. Hopefully, I get some good news this time!! :) Yesterday, I had to get my car fixed, which costed me $258.00, that I dont have. But I need to be able to drive my car to Stanford. Its about a 2 1/2 hour drive for me, so I really dont need to break down anywhere. Wish me lots of luck, please..............!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXO

BTW: Thank you BBC, your such a sweetheart ;) XOXO

My little trick or treaters!! :)

2006-11-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

The boys had a lot of fun last night & got tons of candy. I didnt see many kids out last night, I m really wondering if Halloween is starting to change so drastically, that in the next few years, if there will be any more trick or treating. Some people look at it as a pagan holiday so things are really starting to change these days. I dont believe it to be pagan holiday, I see it as a day to dress up, have fun, & meet all your neighbors. But, thats just me!!

I hope everyone had an awesome night & take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

Happy Halloween!!!!!!

2006-10-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone has a safe & fun night tonight!! I m going to be going trick or treating with the boys tonight. I ll make sure & bring my camera so you can see how the night goes. Take care!!

Love always, MM XOXO

2 corinthians 12: 7-10

2006-10-30T11:33:00.000-08:00

7. And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8. Concerning this thing I have pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9. And he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness," Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in destresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This is something I have been reading in the Bible, & now I understand better of my own sufferings & I am made perfect in my weaknesses, For my weaknesses have made me strong.

Just something I wanted to share with you!! Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

Bad news only gets worse!!

2006-10-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

I went to Stanford Medical Center yesterday too see another eye Doctor & have another MRI done. The news just seems to get worse everytime I m seen. Has anyone ever heard of this, Superior Oblique Myokymia?? Well thats what I have!! Also, I do in fact have Ankylosing Spondilitis. I wish they could have told me before my visit. I was thinking it was still a possibility it wasnt it. But its now a 100% positive that I do in fact have it.

I spoke with my Aunt a few days ago & sure enough 40% of my family on my Dads side has this. I told her, If I would have only known this sooner like maybe 6 or 7 years ago it would have been nice. All those tests & all those Doctors, UGH!! It could have all been prevented, just by knowning what my family has been plagued with. But its not her fault, I havent even spoken to her since I was a little girl. One memory I have of her is being in a lot of pain & walking with a cain all the time. She told me of whats yet to come & let me tell you I m afraid, more afraid then I ever was before. She has had 18 surgeries in the past 30 years. Four of which were hip replacements. So I keep telling myself this isnt going to happen to me, no way, I wont allow it too. NO WAY IN HELL!!

If anyone knows about this Superior Oblique Myokymia please let me know!! I was told this is so rare that no one Doctor has ever seen 2 cases of this in the their life. I asked if this means I get some kind of reward & the Doctor just laughed at me, LOL. But damit I should get something since I m such a rare case. I kind of felt like I was under a microscope, cause he was introducing me to a few other Doctors as the one who has this. One which I will be seeing very soon to get help for this. BUT wait, Get this, I still could have MS after all this is said & done!! So Im not too happy right now!!
Anyways, thanks for letting me vent!! Take care everyone & I hope all is well!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Welcome to my new home........

2006-10-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

Heres some photos of my new home, theres still a lot that has to be done. So thats why its still a mess & not all the stuff has been put on the walls yets. Plus I still have to get cable out here to hook up all the TV,s so thats why youll see all the wires on the floor. I had to hook them all up myself, lol. I think of you all as my good friends, so I dont care who see's my personal living space. I m an open book to all my friends. I hope you like the place!! Enjoy!!
Also, I didnt take any pictures of the patio yet, I will post them tomorrow. I m putting up lights around the fence to make it more romantic. Youll see what I mean tomorrow or the next day.

Heres what youll see at my front door.

This is what youll see coming in the front door. Heres the front room with my computer & treadmill. :)

This is the full view of the Front room from the hallway after you enter in the front door.

The kitchen area!!

Heres the view from the kitchen!!
This is the hallway to the bedrooms & bathroom.

2006-10-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

This is the hallway is to the bathroom & bedrooms.

This is the hallway to the kids room.

Heres the boys room, messy I know!!

This is the walk way to the bathroom & my bedroom.

Bathroom of course!! ;)

Heres my bedroom, where no magic ever happens, at least not yet. LOL!!

Heres the master bedroom vanity area, where I always get myself ready, ;).

I hope you enjoyed the tour of my new home, where I plan on staying forever, Or at least awhile. :)
Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

Moved again!!

2006-10-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

I m finally in my new place & all settled in, wooowhooo!! I am so sick of moving, so trust me when I say, I wont be moving anytime soon. I havent been in my own place for almost a year now, so its really nice. Ive been bouncing back & forth from my mothers & a friend of mine. By the way, Thank you Sara for everything!! My mother isnt someone you can live with for long she gets crazy & she is very unstable in many ways. Thats another post!!
Ill be posting pictures soon, I just want to get it all cleaned up before I make it famous, lol.
Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOX

How to give a cat a pill.......

2006-10-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know how difficult it really is. The following instructions are fool proof!!

1. Pick up the cat & cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cats mouth & gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth & swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor & cat from under chair. Cradle cat in left arm & repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom & throw soggy pill away.

4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open & push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5.Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl & cat from top of waredrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding front & rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cats head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler & rub cars throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy new ruler & repair curtains. carefully sweep shattered figures from hearth & set aside for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel & get spouse to lie cat with its head just visible from beneath spouses armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cats mouth open with pencil & blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouses forearm & remove blood from carpet with cold water & soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbors shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage & put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek & check records for last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away & fetch a new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine & bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force cats mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically & poor 1/2 piny of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger & forearm & removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home order a new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.

Memories...........

2006-10-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Do any of you ever have a time where you just sit & think about all the things in your life whether it be past, present, or future? Do you ever question if youve done all the right things in your past? Do you ever regret things youve done or wondered what your life would be like now if you would have done things just a little differently? Or just think about the choices you make now & how they will effect your future?
I found myself doing just that the other day. So I thought I would share some of my thoughts & memories with all of you.

Here's a picture of my Ex-Husband!! This was around the time we separated.

This picture isnt very good of us because I took a picture of a picture with my cell phone. I hope that came out right!! :) This is when we were actually happy together.

This picture was taken at the park, when we took the kids for some R&R time to talk about some past things, & our future. Its not really agreat picture of me, but its still at a time I was remembering. Bare with me, here!!

I really dont know where I m going with all this. Sometimes I fear telling to much about myself on here, since that one woman I wont mention any names. But it has made it hard for me to talk about myself & my feelings on here anymore. So if you wonder why I dont share very much anymore, thats why.

But lately I ve been thinking a lot about all the choices Ive made in my love life, & if I ve done all the right things. Rather should I really have left my husband? He was always good to me, & was always a hard worker in our relationship. But, I couldnt deal with the lies, & when he cheated on me it was really hard to get past that. But then I question myself if I was the cause for what he had done. I use to take him to strip clubs, & I was always introducing him to new things. Now when I think back I wonder if I should have done all those things. I sometimes think did I tease him with all the candy I was showing him. Was it my fault?

Regardless, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts & memories. I just needed to get it off my mind one way or another. SO thanks for listening!!

Take care everyone!! Love, MM XOXO

Tickle Me Elmo... LOL!!

2006-10-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Lena was hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reported for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday... your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Some Train Humor, Enjoy!!

2006-10-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

A man and a woman, who had never met before, both
married to others, were assigned to the same sleeping
room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a
room, they were both very tired and fell asleep
quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the
woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but
would you be willing to reach into the closet to get
me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea" she replied. "Just for tonight
let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

I m a sucker for kittens.......

2006-09-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I went to the store around midnight to get a pack of cigs. I dont smoke, so dont think they were for me!! When I got out of my car I heard something that sounded like a loud cry from a cat or a kitten. I didnt pay much attention, I just walked in the store. But when I walked out, I couldnt ignore it, it was so disturbing on so many levels. I had to see what was crying, I was worried a cat might have gotten hit by a car, since it was coming from the other side of the road. So of course, I went to investigate & sure enough I found a little black & white kitten on the side of the road, across the street. I wasnt sure if he or she had been hit by a car, so I tried to see if he or she was ok. But as soon as I walked up to the little guy he tried to hide from me in between a brick wall & a light post. I could tell he was maybe a few weeks old. So I went back & got my mother so she could help me see if this kitten was ok or not. We went back & sure enough he was in the same spot as I had left him. She picked him up & I had started knocking on doors to see if anyone would claim him, no one did. So we took him home & checked him out. He seemed to be ok, just starving & very, very dirty. I gave him a bath & he was limp in my hands, it was so sad. All the white on his body was so dirty he almost looked all black. After his bath, I fed him a few bowls of baby food. Poor baby ate like he hadnt eaten in days. I could tell since he was all skin & bones. The next day I took him to my vets office & had him checked for everything. He was under weight & had a shit load of fleas on him. They deflead him, dewormed him, & sent him home with me. Thats when I found out he or she was a he!!The vet also told me he was about 6 or 7 weeks old. That was 5days ago!!

Since then Ive put out ads to see if anyone would claim him. I also went door to door around the neighborhood to see if anyone knew who this little guy belong too. I did find out that his other Brothers & sisters had all died from being hit by cars. I think his mama died as well!! They were all strays in the neighborhood. So right now I ve been trying to find him a good home, & so far no luck. I have a feeling I have a new addition to my family.

I was thinking about naming him Ciggy since cigarettes had saved his life. What do you think I should name this little guy? Heres a photo to help out!!
Do you remember this photo? Doesnt he look just like this kitten? TOO CUTE!!
Here you can see who made friends with him. None of the other cats, Ivy, or Lilo want anything to do with him. Its so cute, everytime one of the other cats hisses at him Chelsea gets in between them & barks at them. Its so cute! I swear Chelsea thinks she his mama!!
I hope all is well with everyone!! Take care. If you can think of a good name for this little guy please let me know. Love always, MM XOXOXOXO

I m still here!!

2006-09-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

Once again I m sorry for being away so long!! I think I can honestly say I m starting to lose interest in blogging lately. That doesnt mean I dont like the friends Ive made through out this journey of blogging. I just dont feel like posting anything lately or bitching about anything. Either my life is really boring or its getting more entertaining then it used to be. I m not sure which one, yet!! But, I do miss talking to all of you! I ll be sure to post when I have something more entertaining to share with all of you, until then Take Care!!
Love always, MM XOXOXO

I miss you!!

2006-09-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry its been awhile!! I have tried to check out some of your blogs from time to time, but I have been very busy the past few weeks so I havent been able to check out all or even leave comments. I cant even begin to tell you all how much I miss each & everyone of you. I hope everyone is doing good & all is well. I also have some information on my tests results from Stanford Medical Center.
I went back to Stanford yesterday & this is what I had found out. They said they are 99.9% sure I do not have MS, although they havent checked me for that. They did say, after getting back all the blood work & X-rays that they now believe 99.99% that I have something called Ankylosing Spondylitis. So its not MS, its AS!! I have never heard of this before in my life, so as soon as I got home I went online & check out anything & everything I could find on it. I was very surprised on how similar my symptoms were to this disease. It explains a lot about whats been happening with my eye & other things that have been happening as well. So now I will have to start injections of medication to prevent all the bad things from happening to me. Thats all I know right now, I go back to see them in 5 weeks to confirm their diagnosis. I have to get more blood drawn, & an MRI done before then. I really do hope this is finally it, & I wont have to go thro anymore tests or what ifs. I m so sick of going back & forth with it could be this, or it is this, or its not this its that. I really want to know & finally just move on & finally just get the right treatment. I just want to move on with my life.
I hope all is well with everyone & as soon as I have some more time I will post more about whats been going on with me. Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

My Cousin Shannon

2006-08-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I havent been posting, Ive been alittle busy. After two & a half years of not knowing if she was alive or dead, I finally was reunited with my cousin. Ill explain!!

I pretty much raised my cousin from about 3 years old & up, she was always in my life one way or another. We are 10 years apart, so I wasnt always mature enough to be raising anyone when I started caring for her.
Long story short, She was never one to pick the right type of Boyfriend. Which seems to run in the family!! From the moment she started dating boys, she seemed to always pick the most abusive. It seemed I was always on a mission to try & save her from being abused or even killed by the one she was with. When I was able to get her away from one guy, she ended up seeing someone else who would either hit her, or abuse her in some way. I believe it has a lot to do with things that happened to her when she was younger. Another family curse!!
Ok on with the story!! About 9 years ago she met someone named Roger & moved in with him. At first he seemed like he could be different from all the rest, but it was short lived. When he started hitting her he knew that he had to get me out of her life one way or another. One thing abusive men do is cut off all their ties to anyone who could possibly help her. Its typical for abusive men to cut off the family as well. They just dont want the woman their with to have any resources of any kind & have to only depend on them for survival. So immediatly thats what he set out to do was get her away from me. That way she wouldnt have a place to go, or someone to help her. She started sneaking phone calls to me here & there, we would have to sneak to see me as well. I tried to talk sense into her, but no matter what it had to be her decision to leave him, not mine. Then she ended up pregnant & had a baby with him, so that made her want to stay that much more. While she was pregnant she had tons of black eyes & bruises everywhere. It was really hard for me to see her & see all these things happening & not be able to do anything about it. Finally he found out we were still in contact, & he had her call me to tell me she never wanted to see or talk to me again. It broke my heart!! But that is when I made up my mind & wrote her a letter to never contact me again until he was completely out of her life. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I felt I had to do it. I couldnt handle seeing it anymore or deal with the heart brake of her telling me she wasnt able to talk to me. That day I thought I would never see her again, she was either going to die at his hands or stay with him forever. So I had to forget her & try to move on!! That was 2 & a half almost 3 years ago!!

Last month I went to get my hair done & the lady told me she heard that Shannon left Roger a few months ago & she was trying to find me. My jaw dropped!! When I got home I got on the phone with her father & she did in fact leave Roger a year ago & has been trying to get ahold of me for months. I left my number & she called me 20mins later. She is now happy, healthy, & has a new man in her life. She now has a 3 year restraining order on him, hes now paying her childsupport, & She is able to have me in her life again. I cant post where she lives just in case he were to ever see this post. But I am so proud of her & so happy!! I drove two hours to go pick her, & her boyfriend up. They stayed with me for the past three nights, & three days. It was the first time I got to see her little boy since he was 1 1/2 or 2, hes now 5 years old. We had an awesome time, it felt like we had never stopped talking. I took her back home yesterday & its been a really awesome three days. ;)

Life is good right now, & its even better since she is back in my life. I love you Shamman!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXO

Lilo Growing up.........

2006-08-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

Ivy Preggers with Lilo!!!

Lilo, her brother & sister a few hours old. Happy Birthday!!!

Lilo playin with her mama, she was always a mama's girl right from the start.

Lilo & her brother!! I bet you cant tell which one is Lilo? Ill give you a clue her paws are white & her brothers are grey. :)
Still mama's girl!!

Access DENIED!! LOL!! See Ivy put her foot in Lilo's face?

Lilo, Today w/Chelsea!! :)

Take care everyone & I hope you all have a great week!! Love always, MM XOXOXOX

All my babies......

2006-08-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

They are all posing for treats at this very second. I had them all sit for this photo, which was a hard photo to take. One looks one way & then after you get that one to look at the camera the other ones turn their heads. It can get pretty frustrating!! So finally I was able to get all three of them to face me for this photo. UGH!! Only took forever, but hey it was worth it, right?
Ivy is on the left (she is Lilos Mama) , then theres Lilo in the middle (Youve all seen her plenty of times) & on the right is Chelsea which looks scared to death in this photo.
Yes, I know my room looks like a mess in this picture but FYI, its clean now!!
I hope everyones weekend is good & take care!!!
Love, MM XOXOXOXOX

I finally made it.....Standford Medical Center!!

2006-08-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

Stanford Medical Center/Bosewell Building

They had beautiful water fountains in the front of the building. The entire place is beautiful & the Doctors there are AWESOME!!

After the exam I went to get some blood drawn (OMG, I think I left with half a pint of blood left in my body. They took so much blood I couldnt believe I was even still alive after all that blood loss.) You know the test paper they give you to give the tech who draws your blood? Well they had mark so many spots on that paper I had two sheets to hand the lady. I was there long enough to have a complete conversation about my doggy while she was drawing my blood. lol. After that I was sent to get some X-rays. That took another hour of my time. I was starting to wonder wtf was really going on 10 x-rays later. Was he screwing them up or what, but I had to have had at least 15 x-rays. Now I m questioning, can I still have children after all that exposure to the rays? I know that machine is harmless, but it scares me to think about all the radiation after so many x-rays. Does anyone know about that kind of stuff? But all in all I loved how the Doctor checked every part of me from head to toe. I can honestly say Ive never had that good of an exam in my life. I really believe they are going to really help me thro this. All in all it was an awesome experiance. I do have another appointment, thats when I get all the results from my tests. After we left we went to SanFransico to have dinner & just enjoy the rest of the day.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive through out all this.

BG, Thank you for everything, all you did didnt go unnoticed, it helped me more then you may ever know. I owe you babe!! Thanks so much for everything!! I love you sweetheart!

Also, one thing I did find out that I do have yesterday is Raynauds syndrome. Things are going to start getting a lot better for me now that I m on the right path to the right treatment & the right medications. Thank God!!

Take care everyone & I will keep you all posted with whatever I find out.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Wal-mart Humor!! :)

2006-07-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causingquite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behaviorand have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of ourstores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble yourhusband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiledand are listed below.

President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department

MEMOR: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has donewhile his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to therestrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's onlayaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the beddingdepartment.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cryand asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked theclerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the"Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" usingdifferent size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain!!!!"(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Its my party I can cry if I want too.............

2006-07-19T23:24:00.000-07:00

July 16th, was the big day!! My Birthday!!
It sucked because I spent the entire day & the past week in bed. Did I cry, you ask? Yes... I sure did!! Do I want a pitty party? NO, I dont!! It would have been nice to see a Doctor before my Birthday, but we all know how that turned out.

Ok............ enough feeling sorry for myself!!

I have to say even though I didnt make it out of bed, I was still happy to have wonderful family there to try & cheer me up. I also managed to get online & I saw that I had a lot of comments from people wishing me a Happy Birthday, Thank you so much. It made my pain all that much more tolerable, so again thank you very much. I m starting to feel a little better, not much but enough to be able to deal with getting out of bed. I cant tell you how miserable it is to be in bed wasting away like this. It sucks!! Its driving me absolutely insane!! I have had a very high fever for two weeks now, & its getting old!!

I will keep everyone posted on my progress, & Ill let you know how my appointment on the 1st goes. Thanks everyone for keeping my spirits up!!
Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

@%$# !!

2006-07-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Words can not even being to explain how pissed off I am right now.

I got up this morning 7/10/06, to get ready, to drive out of town, & go to the Standford Medical Center. I had to be there no later then 2pm today, at least that is what was supposed to happen. But before I started to get ready ( Thank GOD) I thought since my cell phone hasnt been working I should at least call & get my messages to make sure its still a go today. All my messages where full!! BIG SURPRISE!! I got to the 5th message & FUCK guess who!! It was a call from the Medical Center rescheduling me AGAIN. WTF!! What would have happened if I didnt get my messages today? I would have been fucked!! The lady proceeds to tell me in the message that it was their error ( NO SHIT) Someone had scheduled me as a return patient instead of a new patient. But who the Fuck cares why cant I just go, its an appointment nonetheless. HELLO!! But nope no can do, Now I have to wait another fucking month to get in to see someone & now I dont get to see the Doctor I picked in the first place. What the fuck people!! Now I have another appointment in August & I m wondering is it ever really going to happen? I saved the message on my phone, I m thinking about sharing it with all of you. That way you can see how lame this shit really is. I thought this place was a blessing, but now I m wondering if thats even correct. If they cant get it together to schedule someone, then how are they going to be at helping me? Its a scarey thought!! Anyways, I m pissed!!

My baby, Lilo!!

2006-07-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

I had to share this photo with all of you!! I took this pic today while I was siting at my puter. This is my baby Lilo, if you didnt already know that!! She isnt the sweetest cat in the world, but she is in training. Yes........ I said training!! I have been training her & her mama Ivy for over a year now. She kisses, Sits like a dog, gives long eye contact (To scare people with her long glares), & stands. She does all this for kitty treats. Her mama is much easier to train, she is much more advanced then Lilo is. Ivy also does alot more then Lilo does!! Ivy now thinks if she comes up to me & gives me lots of love & kisses she will get her kitty treats, its so cute. You all have got to see it!!
I know you all might be thinking I have way to much time on my hands, well..., your right I do. :) But in all honesty it only takes 5 mins a day or every other day or in my case, whenever I feel like it. But in all seriousness they are really easy to train. Whenever, I have some more time on my hands I will video tape it & post it here, so you can all see it first hand just how cute & talented my babies are. :)

Take care everyone & I hope you all enjoyed your 4th of July. Next week is my big day going to Stanford Medical Center for the first time. I have to admit I m alittle nervous, & I cant wait all at the sametime. Ill make sure to take pictures of my trip & I will also make sure to post what they say. Have a wonderful rest of the week. Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO
Do you think I gave you all enough hugs & kisses? ;)

The Day of Freedom!!

2006-07-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, EVERYONE!!

I hope everyone has a fun, & safe 4th of July!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

1st year Blogging Birthday!!

2006-07-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

Its my blogs birthday, wooowhoo!!
I started blogging 1 year ago this month!! Its been an awesome year for me, with a lot of ups & downs a lot like a rollercoaster, but so worth the time Ive invested. It was worth it to me because of all the wonderful people Ive met through out the year on here. I have made a lot of friends, as well as a few enemies. Ive shared some very personal things on here about my life. I m thinking you all know more about me then people I know in person. I know that I m not supposed to get attached too people that I meet from the internet. Because we all need to separate emotional connections with people on the internet & connections with people in real life. I hope that made sense!! But truth is all of you mean the world to me & I feel Ive made connections with each & everyone of you on here. I cant help it because a lot of people here have been really kind, sweet, sincere, & very friendly to me. So because of all your kindness I have went against the rule not to get emotionally connected with people on here. Well long story short, I love all of you & I feel so blessed to have had the chance to meet all of you here. So even though some things have been not so good, the good has out weighed all the bad by far. So thank you all for being such wonderful people & Ive enjoyed all of your comments & all of your support with my everyday life. I look forward to another year with all of you, & hopefully Ill meet some new friends along the way.
Take care everyone !! Love always & forever, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Leave me alone SS4!!

2006-06-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

I can see the only real way to be rid of this woman (SS4) is to delete my own blog.
(SS4) I want you & your weird staulker husband to leave me the F--k alone & I mean it!! Lawyers are welcome here, so they can investigate your ass & see how f--ked in the head you really are. Stay away from my blog got it!! I know you want to continue this, but no one else does. So go find some other poor soul to f--k with. Now go away!! If I have to delete my blog I will, if it means never having to hear from you or about you again its more then worth it.
NOW SS4 & Jon(the staulker husband) LEAVE ME ALONE & GO AWAY!!

No more Drama!!

2006-06-24T14:01:00.000-07:00

Look... I m very much done talking about all the BULLSHIT & thats all it is to me is BS!!
There is much better things in life to focus on, & to even continue any of this is just dumb.

LOOK, Kevin I dont even know you, nor do I care to ever know you. I m sorry for saying you have a shitty hair cute, that wasnt very mature of me. Now please stay away from my blog & Ill happily stay away from yours. By all means continue to bash me for whatever reason to your sick friend to make yourself look good or for whatever purpose. But I m not even going to reply to the shit anymore, or even look at what you have to say about me. But just know I might have been a dancer, but that doesnt give anyone the right to call me a slut, stupid, or anything else to that degree. I have more brains in my head then you or anyone might ever realize, & the sad thing is, is usually the people who judge, are the ones who arent educated. Sorry to say but thats the truth!! Again, I am sorry & am now moving on!!

AS far as SS4, I m not going to even respond to anything else you have to say about me. Truth is I dont care what your OPINION is of me, because I have my own OPINIONS of you. Now lets move on shall we!?! I realize you may have hurt feelings, but truth is you are attacking the wrong people here, so if you choose to continue then you will be doing it alone.

Ok...... back to me, me, me!! I m doing really good!! However, I did have some set backs thanks to all the BULLSHIT stress these people have caused me. But thanks to a wonderful relative of mine who wrote me a wonderful email setting me straight. "Thank you SIS, & I love you"!! But truth is these people dont even know me & shes right they dont. The sad part about it, she said "if they only did, they would actually love the person you are". Again, Sis, thank you for saying that about me. I m not a bad person & the things that I have said on here is not at all who I am, nor who I ever want to become again. So count me out next time she chooses to rant, because its not worth it to me to even go there. I have met a lot of wonderful people on here & a few not so wonderful, but the ones who are great & wonderful out weigh the others. So its not worth it to me to delete my blog or even comment on this anymore.

So as you can see I m doing my best to enjoy my summer. I have been having more problems with my eye, time will tell if itll get any better or keep getting worse. I m still waiting to see the specialist!! I will be seeing an Immunologist at Stanford in July. I m hoping he or she finds whatever their looking for to help me out. I have been completely off of the pain medication for sometime now. Which, I know now I should never have posted about that in the beginning because SS4 tried to use that against me in one of her rants about me. At this point its hard to know what I should or shouldnt post about anymore after dealing with people like this on the web. But to be honest I refuse to censor myself because of peoples opinions of me. I am who I am like it or not!!

Take care everyone & I do apologize for all the past drama thats been on here, but I wont allow anymore. Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Animals do the cutest things!!

2006-06-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Cozy!!

Smile!!

Give me my ball back, damit!!

Man my ass is getting too big!!

Three things to think about:

2006-06-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

1. COWS,

2. THE CONSTITUTION, and

3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall
where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves
to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
courthouse........

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!

Perspective: Poor People

2006-06-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they
have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at
night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole
horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that
go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends
to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would
happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

Take care my friends, I wish you all well!! Love always, MM XOXOXO

Memorial Day!!

2006-05-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

I finally have a minute to post something, WOOOWHOOO!!

First & most important of all, I MISS YOU ALL!!

I have been doing great!!

Ive managed to stay focused on trying to make myself better. I ve made a lot of changes, which include diet, different exercises, & keeping a positive attitude. It has taken a lot of effort & will to change things, & it has made a huge difference already.

I have been seeing new Doctors & taking some crazy tests. One test was very interesting, boring as all hell, but still interesting!! I had to sit in front of a Black & white checkered TV screen, while I had these things (wires) all over my head. It was kind of gross having gooey stuff all over my hair afterwards. But I managed to survive it, so its all good. Not to mention I dont think I have any blood left in my body after I saw the vampire. I see them every so often, UGH!! Anyways, Its been a very interesting few weeks for me, but thankfully things seem to be getting done. AS long as they get what they need to help me, I dont care what they do to me. Well there is a few things I wouldnt allow, but I wont go into any details, lol.

Other then all that I have been really focusing my energy on getting more stamina & better energy all around. I do see a light at the end of the tunnel & I do plan on getting there. So far I cant believe what a difference it has made just to be so focused on what I want to achieve. So far Ive tried to deal with not working anymore & its killing me financially. But in the long run I think its for the best. I do however plan on possibly going back, & I m hoping sooner then later. Its really hard not having the income I was used to having. So its a HUGE adjustment. I would like to start maybe going back by July sometime, but I m not pushing it. I just want to keep focused on other things before I jump back into something that could end up hurting me more then helping me. But all in all I am starting to feel so much better!!

On Memorial Day (Monday) I went & took a visit to my Grandparents grave site. I cant even begin to explain how much I miss them. My Grandma was always my rock & it sucks to need someone & they arent there. I know a lot of you completely understand what thats like. Also, how hard it can be without the ones you love when you need them the most. Life can be such a bitch sometimes!!

Anyways, I dont mean to get depressing here, I do hope everyone had a wonderful weekend & thanks for always wishing me well. I will be posting whenever I am able too & always know you all are in my thoughts & prayers. Do take care!!

Love always & forever, Mystical Me!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Take care everyone!! Be back soon!!

2006-05-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

I am: Not going to be online for awhile so I can get some things done in my life, plus I have a lot of Doctors to see & test to take. I have to go out of town on a two hour drive to see this specialist. I m not sure how long Ill be there!!

I want: To get better!!

I wish: I was healthy & able to just be normal

I hate: Always feeling like shit

I miss: Be active everyday

I fear: Not knowing

I hear: The radio

I regret: Staying with that asshole for so long

I am not: Going to give up

I love: all my friends & family

I dance: as much as I can

I sing: Not usually

I cry: when I feel like giving up

I am not always: Nice, half the time I m a bitch

I make with my hands: Pictures, drawing, & paintings

I write because: I want too

I confuse: I need to be more optimistic about things

I need: To focus on my health & my boys

I should: Run today

I start: Swimming tomorrow, wooowhooo!! I got a pool today

I finish: Everything I start

I tag: everyone!

Take care everyone!! I will try to stop by everyones blog from time to time. When I get back I will post pictures of me & all the things I will be going thro while I m away.Outlaw, you & DP will be in my prayers. I will miss you all!! Love always, MM XOXOXO

Driftwood horses

2006-05-18T08:40:00.000-07:00

I saw these & I had to share them with you!! I hope all is well with everyone & do take care!!
Love always, MM XOXOXO

Judgment!

2006-05-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Last week I got an email from a long time friend of mine, name I will withhold, for the fact she might read my blog, but I will use her First Intitial N. through out this post. As you all may already know I was recently diagnosed with MS, so I honestly have to much on my plate already, so I didnt need any added stressors. Well what are long time friends for but to give you that added stress, & to place judgment on you for your sins or rather what they believe to be sins. Years ago N. was diagnosed with having Bipolar, so at times she can start something & even become very extreme with it. For years she has been on & off into religion. I guess you could call it going thro fazes. One min shes going thro an extreme sadness & then the next she is into religion so deep she pushes it down everyones throat. She also has this I m better then you attitude at times, which really makes it hard to talk to her about anything. Just an FYI, she now believes she no longer has Bipolar, so she now believes everything she is doing is AA ok. UGH!! She has also lost another friend over one of her religious episodes a year or so ago.
Anyways heres what happened. My friend N. sends me an email telling me she refuses to post my myspace profile on her profile because she doesnt want me to cause her other friends that she attends church with to sin. I m like WTF!! She tells me she thinks I should reconsider changing my photos because thats not who I am & it can cause someone to sin. She proceeded to tell me when she looked at my photo the spirit of lust came upon her. She also proceeded to tell me what she believes is in my heart & she wants me to change my ways etc etc. She also said that if I was living the right way the Lord would bless me & I wouldnt be sick. She also believes her hands can heal!! WTF!! I havent seen her in months almost a year now, so how she knows what I do on a daily basis is beyond me. How she knows whats in my heart is also beyond me. I did write her an email back saying if she thinks my pictures are sinful then I dont think she should step foot on the river or at the lake this summer, because someone might cause her to sin. I said woman I m in a swimming suit for Gods sakes. I could understand if I had my boobs out or something showing like that. I also said I sure hope you dont step foot outside in a bathing suit or that would make you look like a hypocrite. Oh but she plans on doing that, WTF!! I even wrote her saying that who gives you the authority to place judgement on me? Only the Lord has the authority to judge anyone, not her. She proceeded to write me back saying she does plan on being in a swim suit but with her she feels its more innocent then posing for apicture in it, WTF!! She also feels she does have the authority to place judgment on someone since she sees herself as being in a better place with the lord in her life, then others, UGH. Again WTF!! I asked her to love me for who I am & not for who she wants me to be. I also asked her to leave me alone if she cant stop judging me. So she proceed to send me even more emails telling me how shes right & I m wrong.
I love the lord & I dont do horrible things as a matter of fact I pray everyday. I dont always go to church but that doesnt mean I m not worshiping him on a daily basis. N, Doesnt know my heart so who is she to judge me, anymore then I can judge anyone else. So heres why I m even writing this post. I want to know if anyone knows how I could even talk to a person that is like this? Another FYI, she is on investigative leave from her work because she is doing this stuff at her job as well. She is send emails to people about her love for the lord & how everyone should follow her & her ways. This is just crazy!! I m sorry but I dont ever recall reading about Jesus forcing people to do his will. AS a matter of fact I dont ever recall reading he went around judging people either. I do remember reading that he shared his love to everyone including sinners. He showed them the way to his father, but he didnt do it in a bitter way like my so called friend N is.
Ok back to the questions: How do I get thro to her? If you all want me to post the emails I will if itll help me get some answers as to how I should talk to her. I do love her, but I cant be around someone who is going to always lay judgment on me. Also, another FYI about me, I havent been to work in along time, & I doubt at this point I will ever go back, & its because of many factors like my health. So she cant judge me for what I used to do as far as being a dancer. Not to place judgment on her, but she has done far worse things in her life then I have, so for her to do this to me is ridiculous. Anyways, can anyone please help me get through to her? I need some thoughts & opinions about this. Please help!!

Take care, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO

Whats going to happen to me

2006-05-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

Today Ive had the biggest shock of my life, Ill explain. Today at 2:30 pm I went to an eye Doctor for the first time in 9 years. I ll explain the history of my left eye & the diagnosis I got today.
Ive had problems with my left eye for a few years. I have seen about 2 different Eye Doctors in the past & they could never figure out what was wrong with my left eye. It was always a mystery since it would always come & go out of the blue, & for no apparent reason at all. It first started in Oct, of 1989, I can remember it as if it were just yesterday. It started out that I wasnt able to focus with my left eye, then it started to become very extreme at times to the point I wasnt able to focus at all. It started without any warning, & without any other symptoms at all. Then just as quickly as it started it went away, it disappeared without a trace. Then again in 1999 it started all over again, & again without any warning & without any other symptoms. Althought, this time it would come & go. When it would start again it would stick with me for weeks at a time, & then disappear & I would finally get some relief. Again I went to another eye Doctor at the time & after several tests later he said all he could think it could be was something called Nystagmous ( I m not spelling it right so please dont quote me on this). I was told nothing could be done about it, that it had to do with something wrong with the base of my brain. Then in 2001 I started feeling fatigued & then soon after that I began to be in pain. The pain seemed to increase over time. I went thro what seemed like hundreds of tests for more then a year & every specialist I saw all said the same thing. They believed I had Lupus!! I was diagnosed with an auto immune diease. I believed I had Lupus for years, I even took the meds for it for years. Although nothing ever seemed to help how I felt or anything else for that matter. Never once did I ever put two & two together, nor did anyone else until today. Just recently my eye seemed to get worse so I finally went to my Doctor about it. He filed a referel to an eye doctor. I had rescheduled for months until today. I just didnt see the point in going since I felt I already knew what was wrong & there was nothing that could be done about it, so why go was what I thought. Until It started getting so bad I could hardly drive anymore let alone work anymore. So today was the day I finally went, my appointment was today at 2:30pm. When I got there, I explained everything that had been happening to me for years & explain what the other doctor had claimed I had. He proceeded to run a bunch of tests on me without explaination as to why or what he was doing. He asked me about my history as far as any health problems & what medications I was taking. He then explained to me that the Doctor I had seen in the past was very wrong in his diagnosis. He proceeded to tell me that he has only seen this problem in MS patients & that he was going to be calling my family Doctor tomorrow to let him know his diagnosis. I was in shock, I wasnt sure at first what he was trying to tell me. So he told me bluntly you have MS. He is having my doctor send me to a specialist. I m thankful I finally know for sure what it is that is causing me all these problems all these years. But also I am so scared at the sametime. What does my future hold for me? Whats going to happen to me? All this time I thought I had Lupus, & here all along its been MS the entire time. I feel let down by all the doctors!! Whats going to happen to me? All I know is I am very frightened!!
Take care, MM XOXO

What rejected crayon I am

2006-05-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

My life path is # 5

2006-05-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

Your Life Path Number is 5

Your purpose in life is to live freely and collect experiences.

You love life - new adventures, new people, new ideas.
You are very curious, and you crave novelty in all forms.
You tend to make friends easily, and you enjoy the company of all types of people.

In love, you are fun and even a bit intoxicating. But you won't stick around for long.

You are impulsive and spontaneous - which sometimes leads you to do things you regret.
Sometimes you can be overindulgent with food, sex, or drugs.
You have many talents, so many that you are often scattered and unfocused.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

I stole this from Mr Green!! Yeah this is pretty close to being me, how funny.

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

YES, I M BORED!! ;)

How ro treat a woman/a man

2006-05-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

How to treat a woman:
Wine her.
Dine her
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her.
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

How To Treat a Man:
Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings
Don't block the TV.

OMG!!

2006-05-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband
and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his
highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was
repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him
thinking that it was a
Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed..

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her
husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained
that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing,
and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be
able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been
earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more that
thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million
dollars.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank
which were worth $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the
largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had "charged"
him for sex and invested the money. As a result of her dutiful saving and
investing, they had become wealthy beyond imagination.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million
dollars, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but when he
finally found his voice, he blurted out,
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths
shut.

LMAO!!

Even if you can't SPELL you can still READ

2006-05-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge University.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but
the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was
ipmorantt!

Interesting stuff if you ask me!! I am always making sure I spell things right, & after seeing this I m not sure it really matters, lol. Take care everyone!! Lvoe awlays, :) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Happy 9th Birthday Jacob!!

2006-04-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid!!

2006-04-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning . . . uphill BOTH ways . . . through year 'round blizzards. Carrying their younger siblings on their backs . . . to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill . . . where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter . . . with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! And talk of about hardships? You couldn't just download xxx! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent - you just didn't know!!!You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about!You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!!!!!

I had to post this, I thought it was funny & very true!! Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Harley Davidson inventor

2006-04-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycles, eh?!"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..."

God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?!"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God. "Hold on."

God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and = God read it and smiled.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur,"but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

Mike Bibby

2006-04-17T20:32:00.000-07:00

My son Jacob, is a Big time Sacramento Kings fan. When I heard that Mike Bibby, a player from the Sac. Kings was going to be in Elk Grove at the Verizon store on Laguna Blvd, I knew I had to take him. It was today at 6pm to 7pm!! So right after school today, I took him & we stood in line for an hour & a half before he was able to meet him & get his flag signed by him. He was so excited when he got up there to see him, he froze when Mike Bibby said hello to him, all he did was smile, lol. It was too cute!! I got a few pictures of him in line before he met him, then while he was getting his flag signed, & when he was talking to him. It was the best two seconds of his life!! It sucked that after waiting almost two hours to see him, he was only able to visit with him for less then 30 seconds. Oh well, He said it was still worth it!! I would do it all over again just to make him happy. Enjoy the pictures!!
Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

HAPPY EASTER

2006-04-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter Sunday!!

For the love of EASTER, Please dont make the Easter Bunny cry. This Easter sunday please enjoy yourself, & that'll make the Easter Bunny Happy. :)

Stay safe this Easter & beware of the Easter Bunny!! LOL!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Crazy shit is going on around here........

2006-04-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I left my place to go get something to eat with my boys, since its their Easter Vacation (Spring Break to everyone else). When I was leaving my place, I saw what looked like a bunch of cops just hanging around on their phones, right outside across the street in a parking lot by my house. Then it hit me, I remembered hearing a helicopter earlier this morning. I remembered hearing them saying something over a loud speaker saying something about if you see such & such person, please call your local sheriffs department. I was half asleep when they were saying all this, so I dont really remember everything they said. It was all very muffled at the time because I was half asleep when all this was happening. So I just didnt think anything of it & went back to sleep. Its pretty normal to hear sheriffs flying around looking for someone who they were chasing around on the streets, so again I really didnt think anything of it.
Anyways, I continued to drive along with the boys to go get something to eat for lunch. Then when we were driving back up to the house, I noticed there was a lot more people, cars, vans, & sheriffs. They had taped off the road in a certain spot, which I couldnt help but drive slower then when I was leaving. Thats when I looked over to where they were all standing & noticed a dead body laying next to them. I think I stopped breathing for about a min or two or three. To be honest I m not quite sure how long I stopped breathing. I immediately told the boys not to look & then I tried to stay calm myself. I am not feeling real well right now & I m not feeling very safe in my own home right now. I know this happens almost everyday in California, but this is just too close to home for me. Seems like Ill be moving once again!! UGH!!
I would have posted pictures, but when I walked up to speak with a sheriff to see if he could tell me what had in fact happened, I soon found out they didnt want anyone around the crime scene.
They dont want anyone to know anything at this point other then becareful because the killer is still on the loose. Crazy if you ask me!! I will however see if I can take a picture when some of them leave.
But anyways, I do hope everyone is doing well!! Do take care everyone & stay safe!! Love always, MM XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

My Baby Girl

2006-04-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

New Rules for 2006

2006-04-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

George Carlin's New Rules for 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description of these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. Ifyou're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water?Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're ahuge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting.What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

I hope everyone is doing well!! I got this in an email & I had to share it, I hope you enjoyed it!! Take care!! Love always, MM XOXO

I hope everyone is doing well!!

2006-04-07T16:57:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I havent been posting anything the past few days, I havent been feeling well. I ve been doing a lot of resting, nothing much else. Although, I have been trying to check out everyones blog as much as I can, to see how everyone is doing. I really do hope everyone is doing better then me.!!Have a wonderful weekend everyone & take care of yourselves!! Love always, MM XOXO

Strip Tease!!!

2006-03-31T09:39:00.000-08:00

I m posting this for a few reasons, because this is some of my favorite art, also because this is what I do for a living, & also because Ive been told these look a lot like me. Some people that I have come across on here have felt it necessary to put me down & even belittle me, because of my profession. So this is my way of fighting back!! I do however want people to be more educated with this sort of profession. We arent all bad people! Just because I do this for a living doesnt mean I am a whore, it doesnt mean I dont have morals, it doesnt mean I dont believe in good things, & it doesnt mean I m easy. I m not the type of person to do things against my morals for money, rather I wont. But, I dont see anything wrong with dancing topless 5 feet away from someone to be able to walk away with $500.00 or more or less after my shift is over. I think womans bodies are beautiful, & in some cases even a work of art. So if you have it & your not hurting anyone then why not? In a lot of cases I would think I m more of a counselor then I stripper, because usually a lot of men just want someone to talk to & are in fact very lonely. I just think if a person was more educated about me as a person they wouldnt judge me for what I do. I do hope that the woman that has degraded me for whatever reason on here, gets some education on others & stops judging people by their covers. I think if she got to know me she would be very surprised.
Also, Bill I want to know do these in fact resemble me on stage? I m dying to know!!

Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXOXO

Wallis Pictures!!

2006-03-30T08:20:00.000-08:00

Thanks MA for these pictures!! Take care everyone!! Love always, MM XOXO

I m Back Biotches!!!!

2006-03-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

I m back!! I just needed a change!! Did ya miss me? I missed you, even though it was only a day, :)
Take care everyone, Love always, MM XOXOX